Browse By

Humor In Marriage

 

As a response to my post on “Twelve Rules for a Happy Marriage”, one of my creative readers expressed a fun way of looking at marriage, and since I also enjoy humor, I am sharing his comments with you:

************************
“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”
-Groucho Marx

************************
“The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.” -H.V. Prochnow

************************
“I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way. And second, let her have it.” -Lyndon B. Johnson

************************
“A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

************************
“My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn’t.” -Unknown

************************
“My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.”
-Rodney Dangerfield

************************
“Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain’t so hot.” -Minnie Pearl

************************
“Behind every great man there is a surprised woman.”
-Maryon Pearson

************************
“They say love is blind…and marriage is an institution. Well, I’m not ready for an institution for the blind just yet.” -Mae West

************************
“Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t they’d be married too.” -H.L. Mencken

************************
“A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.”
-Zsa Zsa Gabor

************************
“I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.” -Rodney Dangerfield

************************
“No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.” -H.L. Mencken

************************
“A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers.” -Grace Hansen

************************
“If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively, there would never be more than three in a family.”
-Lawrence Housman

************************
“Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy, fat women.” -Marion Smith

************************
“Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married?” -Barbra Streisand

************************
“Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” -Erma Bombeck

************************
“I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.” -Lewis Grizzard

************************
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.” -James Holt McGavran

XOXOXOXOXODOXOXOXOX

5 thoughts on “Humor In Marriage”

  1. BusyMom says:

    LOL! Too funny. Keep ’em coming Suburban Grandma!

  2. Sheila says:

    LOLLLL! These are hilarious! 😀 😀

  3. Suburban Grandma says:

    Thank you Sheila.
    I am glad you had a giggle.
    I loved them just as much….or even more, since I have been married for 37 years now….

  4. Olga says:

    OMG, these really are hilarious! Thank you so much for sharing 🙂 I can’t wait for my hubby to get up and read them too 🙂

  5. Suburban Grandma says:

    Humor in marriage is like icing on the cake…perfect touch.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.