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Abbott And Costello – Humor

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Creative Commons License photo credit: pulguita

You must be as tired as I am, of dealing with the sudden bout of the “heat wave” (while our thermostats are still on the Heat setting, rather than the AC), the “global” outbreak of the swine flu, the continuously lousy economy…..I better stop here while I’m still ahead.   So how about a little humor?  Nothing can be better than our good old Abbott and Costello.

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, ‘Who’s on First?’ might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT.

ABBOTT:  Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO:  Hello I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT:  Mac?

COSTELLO:  No, the name’s Lou.

ABBOTT:  Your computer?

COSTELLO:  I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT:  Mac?

COSTELLO:  I told you, my name’s Lou.

ABBOTT:  What about Windows?

COSTELLO:  Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT:  Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO:  I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT:  Wallpaper.

COSTELLO:  Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT:  Software for Windows?

COSTELLO:  No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT:  Office.

COSTELLO:  Yeah, for my office.  Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT:  I just did.

COSTELLO:   You just did what?

ABBOTT:  Recommend something.

COSTELLO:   You recommended something?

ABBOTT:  Yes.

COSTELLO:  For my office?

ABBOTT:  Yes

COSTELLO:  OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT:  Office.

COSTELLO:  Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT:   I recommend Office with Windows

COSTELLO:  I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want

to type a proposal.  What do I need?

ABBOTT:  Word.

COSTELLO:  What word?

ABBOTT:   Word in Office.

COSTELLO:  The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT:  The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO:  Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT:  The Word you get when you click the blue ‘W’.

COSTELLO:  I’m going to click your blue ‘w’ if you don’t start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT:  Money.

COSTELLO:  That’s right. What do you have?

ABBOTT:  Money.

COSTELLO:  I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT:  It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO:  What’s bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT:   Money.

COSTELLO:  Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT:  Yes.  No extra charge.

COSTELLO:  I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT:  One copy.

COSTELLO:  Isn’t it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT:  Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO:  They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT:  Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT:  Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO:  How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT:  Click on ‘START’

Hopefully I was able to put a smile on your face, even if only for a couple of minutes.

Life is short, enjoy it!

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